Mother of 3 kids under 10 accuses brother of not trusting her after she gets locked out of her apartment and he refuses to give her a key to his house: ‘I kinda don't [trust her]’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 8, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

Would you trust your sibling with something as important as the keys to your house?

It's okay if your answer is 'no', there's no judgment here. Quite frankly, it makes perfect sense that some people don't trust even those closest to them with something so important. After all, by giving someone a key to your house, you are permitting them to enter the place most sacred to you whenever they want. It is not something that should be given to just anyone, even if there's a family relation between the two of you.

The only people you should give a key to are those you know won't use it unless it's an absolute emergency. Only those who respect your boundaries should be granted unlimited access to your home, because you know they never intend to use it.

The 31-year-old sister in the story below, for example, is not someone who makes it easy to trust her, especially not when it comes to her older brother. He turned to a Reddit community to see if his decision to refuse her request for a key to his house was the right one. It turns out, his 31-year-old sister, who is also a mother of three kids under 10, is not the most responsible adult. She keeps changing jobs, dating different men, and inviting a new crisis into her home every few months.

Her latest crisis happened when she got locked out of her apartment at 11 PM with her three kids. She called her brother to help, and he came to pick them up and host them in his house for the night. After that, the sister started demanding a key to his house in case a similar crisis happened again.

While this brother loves his sister, he doesn't trust her with a key to his house, since he knows she will simply use it whenever she sees fit. Unsurprisingly, she was not happy when he told her no…

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    Woman sitting on a concrete porch step while holding a phone, represented by female model.
    via chinaface

    Woman sitting on a concrete porch step while holding a phone, represented by female model.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to give my sister my house key after she got locked with her kids?

    so my sister (31f) and i (34m) have always had one of those relationships where i'm expected to help because i'm the stable one. I own my house, work from home, my
    via JohnnaALee
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    life is pretty predictable. her life is kind of the opposite. three kids under 10, different jobs, different boyfriends, some new crisis every few months. i love her, she's my
    via JohnnaALee
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    sister, but every time i see her name on my phone late at night i already know it's probably not gonna be good news.
    via JohnnaALee
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    about six months ago she got locked out of her apartment around 11pm. i don't remember exactly what happened, something with the landlord not answering
    via JohnnaALee
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    and her keys being inside, but it was freezing and she had all three kids with her. i drove over, picked them up, brought them back to my place and they stayed the
    via JohnnaALee
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    night. no problem. after that she started asking for a spare key to my house "just in case". i said no. not because i don't care about her, but because her version of "just
    via JohnnaALee
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    in case" tends to become "whenever i need something". she's borrowed my car before and returned it with basically no gas, borrowed money and somehow forgotten about it,
    via JohnnaALee
  • 09
    left her dog with me for what was supposed to be a weekend and it turned into almost a month. none of those things alone are a huge deal but after a while you start noticing a pattern. she
    via JohnnaALee
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    got offended and said i didn't trust her and honestly maybe that's the issue, i kinda don't.
    via JohnnaALee
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    A male model opening a red door
    via Brock Wegner

    A male model opening a red door

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    a few weeks ago i came home from grocery shopping and found her sitting on my porch with the kids. apparently there was another problem with her apartment.
    via JohnnaALee
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    i didn't even ask many questions, i just let them in. later while we were eating dinner she brought up the key thing again, this time right in front of the kids. i
    via JohnnaALee
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    said no again. she asked why. i said because i know exactly what would happen if i gave her one. she asked what that meant and i told her she'd start treating my house like a
    via JohnnaALee
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    backup apartment. things got awkward really fast. she kept asking what i meant so i reminded her about the car, the money, the dog and some other stuff. i wasn't
    via JohnnaALee
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    trying to make some speech, i was honestly getting annoyed because she kept pushing after i'd already answered.
    via JohnnaALee
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    then she started crying. not yelling, not screaming, just crying. the kids heard everything. that's honestly the only part i feel bad about because they didn't need to
    via JohnnaALee
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    be in the middle of it. later my mom called and said i humiliated my sister and made her feel like a burden when she's already struggling. she said i could've
    via JohnnaALee
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    made up an excuse instead of listing all the reasons i don't trust her. maybe i could have, i don't know. the thing is everything i said was true. i wasn't making stuff up to
    via JohnnaALee
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    hurt her, those were the actual reasons. now my sister isn't speaking to me, my mom says i was technically right but cruel about it, and one of my friends actually
    via JohnnaALee
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    said i should've just given her the key and changed the locks later if it became a problem, which sounds insane to me. i honestly don't know anymore. aita?
    via JohnnaALee
  • 22
    MiaouMiaou27 NTA, but maybe your sister could give you a spare key to her apartment in case she's ever locked out again.
    via MiaouMiaou27
  • 23
    Isetedwee NTA. "Give me unrestricted access to your house because | keep having emergencies" is certainly a strategy. The problem is that her track record makes it sound less like a spare key and more like a subscription plan.
    via Isetedwee

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keys kids brother house mother parenting uncle family sister locked out trust parents apartment
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